Whole Foods’ New September Groceries Definitely SLAP

Does anyone else have a calendar reminder when Whole Foods releases their new monthly groceries? No? Okay, well lucky for you, I do! As per usual, I ran to my nearest Whole Foods as soon as I discovered the grocer’s new lineup. Why? Because I have a reputation to uphold, and because I feel responsible for telling you which groceries are worth your hard-earned dollars.

Here’s what I thought of the newest groceries to hit Whole Foods this month.

1. Brazi Bites Brazilian Cheese Bread, $6 for 18 pieces

Okay team, I was fully expecting these to be filled with a glorious melty pocket of cheese, so after 20 minutes of baking the frozen nuggets in the oven at 400 degrees F, let’s just say I was a little disappointed. They are NOT cheese-filled! Dashed cheesy hopes and dreams aside, these churro-flavored, gluten-free (made with tapioca flour), Brazilian cheese bread bites are extremely good.

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As you can see, no cheese, but lots of warm and fuzzy churro goodness inside, so I’m not mad about it. Shame on me for never having Brazilian cheese bread before, though.

2. Rao’s Made for Home Frozen Chicken Parmesan, $7

You may know how much we love Rao’s jarred pasta sauce. (We love it so much that it’s truly the only jarred pasta sauce we’ll ever buy.) So you can imagine our intrigue when we found out that Whole Foods just started to sell Rao’s frozen dinners! Faced with a choice of chicken Parm and spaghetti or meat lasagna, I chose the former. Here’s what it looks like after 40 minutes in the oven.

I pulled the old, “put the frozen dinner on a plate and no one will know” trick, and sure enough, it looked a whole lot more appetizing than before.

How does it taste? The pasta is most certainly not al dente, but the chicken Parm was crispy perfection and covered in just enough flavorful and fresh-tasting Rao’s sauce. I would definitely eat this again. But I’m not so sure about the $7 price tag for a single frozen dinner.

3. PopCorners Flourish Crisps, $3.39 for five ounces

I have a conspiracy theory I’d like to circulate: PopCorners Flourish Veggie Crisps, now available at Whole Foods, are a dupe for these Trader Joe’s Corn, Pea, Bean, Quinoa Crisps, which we reviewed a few months back. Just look at the pics and tell me if I’m wrong. Click on that link. And then look at this pic below.

They look the same, right? I rest my case. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to polish off the whole bag of these, too.

4. Bonafide Provisions Organic Bone Broth Soups, $6 for a 12-ounce pouch

If you’re used to opening up a can or a box right there on the spot when your soup craving strikes, know that you’ll have to plan a little in advance to eat one of these bone broth-based soups. They’re frozen soup pouches and they have to defrost first (overnight in the fridge or a few hours in a bowl of warm water will do the trick). From there, it’s smooth sailing and you get a totally comforting bowl of soup that somehow tastes incredibly fresh.

5. Pipcorn Caramel, $4 for 8.25 ounces

Run, do not walk, to your nearest Whole Foods to get a bag of this vegan caramel mini heirloom popcorn. The kernels are smaller than your average popcorn, but that just means there’s more caramel coating in every serving.

I had to put a chip clip on this bag ASAP before I ate the whole thing in one sitting. This is a good one for sharing — if you’re willing.

6. Birch Benders Paleo Toaster Waffles, $5 for 6

Everyone is into waffles these days! First came “The Chaffle,” and now Birch Benders is coming through with their Paleo toaster waffles. For the sake of research, I had to give them a try. This virtuous version is made with water, tiger-nut flour, cassava starch, eggs, sunflower oil, coconut flour, and salt. When I took a bite, it was extremely apparent that these lack any hint of sweetener, and so I plan to eat the rest of these with a generous swipe of my favorite Justin’s Maple Almond Butter and Bonne Maman raspberry jam. I know, I know — that defeats the whole Paleo part.

7. Stonyfield Organic Fruit and Veggie Smoothie Pouches, $3 per 3.2-ounce pouch

These 50-calorie smoothie pouches are definitely geared towards kids, but that didn’t stop me from snagging one in the yogurt aisle and giving it a go. Dare I say this dairy-free smoothie pouch would be an awesome addition to any lunch box? The best part is that they’re resealable, so if your kid doesn’t finish it all at lunchtime, they can have the rest as an after-school snack.

Which of these new groceries are you most excited to try?

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